Do I really want to change?

This past spring I started on my journey exploring mental health services, thinking now was the time to finally start making some big changes in my life, dealing with various issues I faced. I made some of the minor changes, they weren’t too hard to make.

I started tackling some of the bigger things but then came to realize that they really aren’t that big of an issue in my life and that over the years I’ve mostly turned those bad habits into something positive that is actually improving my life. And maybe there isn’t that much of a reason for me to change immediately.

I don’t have to settle down right away, I can continue on my current path, making more money each year, living fairly frugally and working towards a better tomorrow with that off-grid property in a place like Missouri where I can have fires, make my own electricity, raise my own food, manage my own waste, and own the guns I want. But that doesn’t have to happen right away, and if I’m continuing on that goal its better as time allows investments to grow and be added to.

I’ve been listening to and watching a lot of self improvement videos and podcasts lately. I’m trying to learn ways to better deal with my anxiety and let things roll off my shoulders. I could go back to counseling but I want to learn more myself without paying that $25 co-pay all the time, taking the time off work and being told my problems are dumb. If the solutions to improving my life are ultimately in my hands and in my mind then I think there is a lot I can do myself to improve my mental health without necessarily spending money.

So I don’t know if I really need to change anything right away in my life but I should continue to learn, grow and think more about my future and how I will get there.